| Change gon' come ©Sam Cooke |
[15 Jun 2009|10:13am] |
so... this past weekend I've thought a lot about shit. mostly, myself. no not in a narcissistic way. and i think it sucks that i've grown super complacent. i work, hit the gym, play video games, drink, and hang out with the wife. now, those are all fun, but in my downtime i just sit there. literally. sit in place bullshitting.
a few things recently have spurred the reaction needed to create a change in my lifestyle. namely:
1. having a falling out with my family, apparently for me being a standup. go figure.
2. losing my aunt, childhood idol (luther secrease), and jake in the span of 6 months.
3. being in massive debt and not really working towards it.
4. believe it or not, killer mike's album. pledge allegiance to the grind 2. "your work ethic will determine your worth."
based off that last quote, my life hasn't been worth a damn for quite some time now. wallowing in complacency is not where i envisioned myself and it should not be the same for you either. for me to be successful, i have to feel pressure and be uncomfortable. so, here goes nothing. wish me luck.
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| Why You Shouldn't Hit The Majority of Hollywood on Friday Nights. |
[03 Jun 2009|10:35am] |
so, over a year or so ago, one of my old college buddies sarah wants to have a good time in our neck of the woods on a friday night. of course me and the guys are up for it, the only question was where.
dave brings up cabana. which is cool, cuz the times i've been there on saturdays i've had a blast and got pleasantly drunk.
but wait.
isn't friday asian nights at most spots in hollywood?
"nah dude, there's gonna be a lot of other folks that aren't asian there."
you sure dave?
"yeah man, it's not going to be an asian night."
i took his word for it. for. the. last. time. ever.
i round up the troops in the valley, consisting of slick, oj, and puerto rican jon (i say this because a lot of people think he's white).
we head out there stupid early because when you're rolling with a sausage fest in hollywood on a friday, you're not getting in anytime after 1030.
so us 4 are waiting in line around 945 or so for sarah and her friends, as well as dave and the LA heads to show up.
jon spots a group of ladies walking towards us and at first was like "oh word, what's up with these chicks, lemme holler at em though."
2 seconds roll by.
"oh shit son, one is cute, but the rest never fuckin mind." this coming from jon, who would bash the berries with anything packing a vagina.
turns out it was sarah and her friends. now, sarah is cool as all hell, but she brought a stable of swamp donkeys with her that night. good lord.
in any case, we make the best of the situation before we get into the club. we step in, and guess what. all asian.
damn you david stankunas.
i didn't want to give up hope that my mans had betrayed me in such a fashion so i ask the bartender if it's asian night. yes, fridays are always asian nights. then i ask the bathroom attendant. is it asian night? yeah, it's asian night.
at this point me and the valley crew were ready to beat dave back to the stone age. but, for some reason, the bar was giving away free budweiser. we knew desperate times called for desperate measures, so we drank as much as we could, as fast as we could, to deal with pancake asses and flapjack titties. the bartender took pity upon us and also mixed us some surprise concoctions that tasted like death, and probably twice as strong.
jon got his in with a cute asian chick though. unfortunately, i was his wingman and had to dance with her friend who looked like she had down syndrome and gigantism of the nose.
a few hours go by, and we're ready to head home. however, we forgot we didn't have a designated driver. thankfully, quan offered to drive us to mel's drive in while we ate and sobered up.
but we didn't sober up. i passed out with a fucking sunset burger in my hands. literally.
our check comes, and we figure we'll crash in the car while quan catches up with dave. quan calls dave to see if they were still at the thai restaurant they went to after the club.
"nah dude, we're already home, and i'm going to sleep."
wow.
so, it looked like quan was our dd back home, and i told him i'd take him home in the morning on the way to see the wife. i knock out, while quan sleeps in my roomie's room, and jon, slick, and oj take the living room.
for some reason, jon snores loud as FUCK when he's super drunk (as seen below)
this night was so exception. jon knocks out first, leaving oj and slick to be tortured by his imitation of a fucking chainsaw.
once again, desperate times called for desperate measures. slick looks at oj, oj looks at slick.
oj kicks jon in the chest to shut him up. and not just a nudge. this was a kareem abdul jabbar front kick to bruce lee in "game of death" type kick.
the kick let out a resounding thump, jon whimpered, and went back to sleep.
i woke up the next day and jon was the only one who was still asleep in the living room. i wake him up so i can lock up and leave, and jon mentions having a horrible dream about getting jumped and kicked in the chest.
add "do not mess with a black man's or vietnamese man's drunken sleep" to the man law handbook.
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| Gyu-Kaku |
[03 Jun 2009|10:09am] |
so playing call of duty 4 the other day, my dude vic mentions some japanese spot that has a crazy happy hour. 1 dollar draft beers and 6 dollar pitchers, and a bunch of appetizers on a fat discount. naturally, i look into it and the restaurant is called gyu-kaku.
sounded like a title for a bukkake movie or some shit. i was hesitant at first, but i made the reservations for the valley crew and the yellow man group (more on that later).
we show up around 10, and all the tables have hibachi grills in the middle where you cook your own beef, corean bbq style. but of course, i wasn't there for that. i immediately ordered pitchers with my dude slick, and by the time the others showed up, we were down a pitcher and ordering our second.
(i think jorge's left nipple was itchy in this pic)
well, like a dumbass, i hadn't had any carbs since around noon that day. and let me tell you, no bread or rice in my stomach whilst drinking = ignorant yong.
i got completely shitfaced after 10-11 beers, and after the restaurant closed we headed to a dive bar across the street. after a round there, we chilled in the parking lot while my dude jorge's gf tried to convince her to let me go on an impromptu trip to vegas. thankfully, that didnt pan out because i could barely stand up and i think melissa said opted out. vu took me home, and i passed out.
however, i woke up with a fucking toy schoolbus in my pocket, and a 2 dollar bill in my wallet without the foggiest notion of how they got in there.
stay thirsty my friends.
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| Screen Gems |
[27 May 2009|12:23pm] |
sometimes, random hilarity will come up from aim conversations. this, is no exception.
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